When one thinks of Mario, a squeaky clean image of a true hero saving a damsel in distress usually comes to mind. That is far from the truth! It is really a story of corruption, gluttony, and lots and lots of sewage.
If you read page four of the manual, it clearly reads, “the quiet, peace-loving Mushroom People were turned into mere stones, bricks and even field horse-hair plants…” by a tribe of black-magic using Koopas. The inhabitants are transformed into blocks, bushes, weeds, and other objects.
What does Mario do during the entire game? He smashes or crushes those objects, the poor helpless natives trapped within those very items. Whenever Mario busts a brick or stomps on an unarmed Goomba, he is committing the serious crime of murder. And why? In exchange for points, power-ups and coins. Coins that, oddly enough, provide immortality. Mario’s motives are one of pure greed. It could be argued that Mario is a serial-killer!
It is foretold that only Princess Toadstool can break the spell. Does she? Never. Mario, with the princess in tow, has appeared in approximately 200 games and never once has the happy couple lifted a finger for the victimized people of the Mushroom Kingdom. Sure, Mario rids the realm of Bowser and some of his henchmen, but keeps the riches of the land for himself and never restores the natural balance. Oh the agony!
Check out more of these in Michael Thomasson’s Book Downright Bizarre Games book available at Good Deal Games and make sure to sign up to get Old School Gamer Magazine for free by clicking here!
