Page 54 - OSG Presents Classic Gamer Magazine #6

S cities against the evil Zylon warships, were

two of the highest rated children’s shows of
the year.
everal months ago, I contracted strep
throat for the first time in my 26 years on
the planet. Don’t most folks get this out of the Unfortunately, weak episodes such as
“Centipede,” “Dig Dug,” and “Alpha Beam,”
way when they’re five? I’ve always been the pro- which did not feature Sesame Street’s Ernie
crastinator... Anyway, I was prescribed various (unlike the cartridge itself), demonstrated
medications to ease the pain, and spent my after- that time was running out for the series, and
noons in a medicated stupor, eating Jell-O and ratings started to decline.
drinking spring water. Now don’t be envious, it’s The series picked up slightly in the spring
not as fun as it sounds. of 1983, with a four part episode many con-
However, as my mind wandered, not caring sider to be the best of the series, entitled
whether this was due to the Percoset or the ill- “Swordquest.” Each week, a new world was
ness in general, I got to thinking about the car- presented, based on Earthworld, Fireworld,
toons inspired by video games in the early 80’s. Waterworld, and Airworld, respectively. Tor
Hmmmmm.... ABC had Pac-Man and Dragon’s and Tarra from the comic books that accom-
Lair cartoons... CBS had Pole Position and Satur- panied the cartridges were on hand to fight
day Supercade (which had seven different games the creatures that children just couldn’t han-
represented throughout its run.) I wonder why dle. Unlike the actual Swordquest contest,
NBC had no video game inspired cartoon? all four episodes were complete and aired in
Then I recalled those old Atari commercials their entirety, allowing perhaps the only
where all the neighborhood kids were playing the glimpse into what the cartridge of Airworld
newest 2600 stuff in a rickety “Honey Comb may have been like.
Hideout” kind of backyard shack, and thought, By the time the repeats were being aired,
“Wouldn’t it have been great if NBC had taken the show had fully run out of steam, and the
the initiative, and created... THE ATARI CLUB- door to the Atari Clubhouse Kids show was
HOUSE KIDS SHOW!” closed. Sort of. The show returned briefly
The Atari Clubhouse Kids show would’ve with a completely revamped format in the
been 30 minutes long, and the theme song late spring of 1984. The show was no longer
would’ve incorporated the familiar “have you associated with Atari exclusively, and was
played Atari today” jingle from the commercials. now titled the very bland “The Adventures of
You could have five elementary and middle the Computer Warriors.” The clubhouse was
school age kids... All stock clichéd characters, sharpshooter in town; or the film noir inspired gone, as the kids were now portrayed as
exactly like Hanna-Barbera and Ruby-Spears “Codebreaker” story, where the kids team up with young high schoolers who would get sucked
used over and over in cartoons of that era. a Bogart-style detective to track down a wanted into the game world by forces they never
There’d be the slobby fat white boy, who we’ll criminal. understood or discovered. (No Stella here!)
nickname “Snacks” due to his penchant for al- On occasion, the neighborhood bully “Brooks” Snacks was dropped as a character, as
ways having a candy bar or bag of chips in hand. would harrass the group, jealous over his exclu- were Bit and Byte, and were replaced by
Then you’d have the sensible black girl, whose sion from the club. Sometimes he would steal, or “Wheels,” a new kid in town who was wheel-
name could be “Sheryl,” and she’d be the con- in one particular episode, BREAK their Atari with chair bound, and “Missy,” Jenny’s younger
science of the show. Of course you’d need a the help of his younger and perpetually nervous sister, seen occasionally on the earlier show.
computer whiz kid, and that would be “Syntax,” a brother “Kevin.” Generally, the brothers only inter- In the game world, the characters became
young asian lad with oversized eyeglasses. The fere with the real world actions of the kids, but in “the Computer Warriors” with superhero-
group would round out with “Jenny,” a prissy, but an episode late in the first season, they discover style outfits and special powers, customized
good natured blonde girl, and the “leader” of the a loose board in the roof of the clubhouse. Just per episode, allowing them to help defeat
group, “Matt.” He’s a rich jock-type, always in as the gang is preparing to insert the blinking the antagonists of whatever game they were
control and never one to admit when he’s wrong. “Slot Racers” cartridge into the system, Brooks playing.
Oh yeah, don’t forget the sidekick pet dog and leans in a little too closely and tumbles through Poor stories, poor animation, and the
cat; they could be named “Bit” and “Byte!” the roof, pulling brother Kevin in with him. This abandonment of all that had made the Atari
The premier episode would explain how one results in the kids (and the brothers) getting Clubhouse Kids Show successful doomed
day, the kids were playing Atari in the clubhouse, sucked into the Slot Racers’ realm. Now the kids Computer Warriors to a short five week run.
when a bright light appeared before them and not only have to help the inhabitants of the city Two years later, as the Nintendo and the
took the shape of a beautiful woman in flowing destroy the robot cars that are terrorizing their Sega Master System were revitilizing the
robes. She identifies herself as “Stella, the God- town, but they have to track down Brooks and market in the U.S. for home video game sys-
dess of Atari.” She implores the children for their Kevin and return them to safety, despite the fact tems, Atari began to make a comeback by
help in restoring harmony to various parallel that they’d love to leave them there forever. Un- marketing its 2600 jr. system and re-
worlds. Never a bunch to pass up adventure, fortunately, they get more than they bargained for releasing many old favorites. This prompted
they all eagerly agree. Stella continues to explain when they find the brothers have been made the USA cable network to purchase the
that when she needs their help, one of their Atari henchmen of the robot car army! rights to the “Atari Clubhouse Kids” show,
game cartridges will glow brightly. The children Other favorite first season episodes include and air episodes during its “USA Cartoon
are then to insert that particular game into the the one based on “Adventure,” where the whole Express” weekday morning block. After 2
Atari, and the world of the game will open to be- gang gets locked away in the various castles, years in syndicated repeats, the clubhouse
come something beyond their wildest imagina- leaving Snacks as the one to fight the dragons, was dropped from the line up.
tion! She disappears, but not before the first contend with that pesky bat, and search for the If only there really was some animation
game starts to glow, and the show gets rolling. golden chalice. There’s also the “Warlords” epi- studio someplace with dusty old tapes of the
Oftentimes the episodes would be of a straight sode, where each kid has to convince his or her clubhouse show. It sure would have been
science fiction nature, such as the “Asteroids,” “king” to make peace, while Syntax oversees the great to be able to watch such a show back
“Missile Command,” or “Yars Revenge” story- entire proceedings. then, and it would be even cooler to get out
lines. But deviations from the formula would The second season gets started with a bang. the tapes and watch it now. So from Stella,
arise, such as the whimsical “Demons to Dia- The episodes of “Haunted House,” where the kids Snacks, Sheryl, Syntax, Jenny, and Matt; a
monds” plot, wherein a small race of dwarves is have to retrieve the parts of a historic urn before proud Atari club salute, and
beleagured by demons intent on stealing their the spectral forces dwelling in the old Victorian thanks for dreaming.
riches; the western “Outlaw” episode, where the get THEM; and the “Star Raiders” episode, which
kids have to instill courage in the most unlikely finds the gang defending neutral starbases and

Classic Gamer Magazine Spring 2001 54